Credit: Legacy Project
“Tradition is a guide, not a jailer.”
W. Somerset Maugham
Memories, traditions, and holidays go together. In fact, they are inseparable. Think about it: what would a holiday be without the memories and traditions that separate it from the blur of every other day of the year? A holiday is a time when you remember — holidays past, the year past, those you have known, and even who you once were. A holiday is also a time when you engage in familiar activities — activities that have been repeated over the years and through the generations, and which you hope will continue to be repeated in future years and by new generations.
For individuals, the holidays are very much about memories and traditions formed in childhood. Memories make up the story of our life that exists in our mind. They help us make sense of our life and find meaning in it. Memories can give us comfort, direction, inspiration, and hope. Our children need memories and traditions to grow into their future, and we need our memories and traditions to step back into the comfort of the past for a moment. We want to relive those moments from the past when we felt safe, secure, happy, and connected (or at least the times we remember that way — even if they didn’t actually happen exactly as we remember them). If we don’t have happy memories from holidays past, then it becomes all the more important to create special moments now that will become memories in the future.
The holidays are a natural time for generations to connect. The world of work slows, schools take time off, and everything in general seems to make a nod toward spending some time with family. The holidays are the one time of year when we are expected and encouraged to connect. They are a once-a-year call to family. It’s not always straightforward or easy to make the connection. But you can celebrate the holidays in a way that works for you and your family, and a way that strengthens the bonds across generations (see The Magic of Traditions & Rituals section of this kit). We do need each other — with all our foibles and frustrations. We need connections that matter, connections that are deep and meaningful. We need to connect to each other, to our varied personal and cultural histories, and to the traditions those histories carry.
Some useful books for adults related to building memories and traditions: 15 Minute Family Traditions & Memories by Emilie Barnes; Come to the Table by Doris Christopher; The Games We Played: A Celebration of Childhood and Imagination edited by Steven A. Cohen; The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey; The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us by Meg Cox; The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties by William J. Doherty; The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families by Mary Pipher; Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love & Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli.
Picture books are great to share with both young and old. Some storybooks related to memories and family, cultural, and holiday traditions: Christmas Tree Memories by Aliki; A Christmas Sampler by Joan Walsh Anglund; The Chicken Salad Club by Marsha Diane Arnold; Chestnut Dreams by Halina Below; The Christmas Cobwebs by Odds Bodkin; Something to Remember Me By by Susan V. Bosak; I Have an Olive Tree by Eve Bunting; Night Tree by Eve Bunting; A Visit to Grandma’s by Nancy L. Carlson; A Very Special Kwanzaa by Debbi Chocolate; My First Kwanzaa Book by Deborah M. Newton Chocolate; Dancin’ in the Kitchen by Frank P. Christian; Little Tree by e.e. cummings; Christmas: Celebrating Life, Giving, and Kindness by Arlene Erlbach; On Hanukkah by Cathy Goldberg Fishman; Tanya’s Reunion by Valerie Flournoy; In My Family/En mi familia by Carmen Lomas Garza; Ramadan by Suhaib Hamid Ghazi; The Borrowed Hanukkah Latkes by Linda Glaser; It’s Kwanzaa Time! by Linda Goss; Rodgers & Hammerstein’s My Favorite Things by Renée Graef; Luka’s Quilt by Georgia Guback; A Christmas Treasury: Very Merry Stories and Poems by Kevin Hawkes; Bubbe & Gram by Joan C. Hawxhurst; A Cup of Christmas Tea by Tom Hegg; Great-Grandmother’s Treasure by Ruth Hickcox; Celebrating Ramadan by Diane Hoyt-Goldsmith; Houseful of Christmas by Barbara Joosse; An Island Christmas by Lynn Joseph; Victorian Christmas by Bobbie Kalman; Grandpa’s Visit by Richardo Keens-Douglas; Christmas Around the World by Mary D. Lankford; All the Places to Love by Patricia MacLachlan; Seven Spools of Thread: A Kwanzaa Story by Angela Shelf Medearis; Gus and Grandpa and the Christmas Cookies by Claudia Mills; The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore; Light the Lights!: A Story About Celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas by Margaret Moorman; Apples and Angel Ladders: A Collection of Pioneer Christmas Stories by Irene Morck; Habari Gani? What’s the News?: A Kwanzaa Story by Sundaira Morninghouse; My Two Grandmothers by Effin Older; Rocking Horse Christmas by Mary Pope Osborne; Thunder Cake by Patricia Polacco; Welcome Comfort by Patricia Polacco; Dumpling Soup by Jama Kim Rattigan; The Very Best Hanukkah Gift by Joanne Rocklin; Twas the Night B’Fore Christmas: An African-American Version by Melodye Benson Rosales and Clement C. Moore; Chanukah Lights Everywhere by Michael J. Rosen; Baboushka: A Christmas Folktale from Russia by Arthur Scholey; Thanksgiving at the Tappletons’ by Eileen Spinelli; Nine Spoons: A Chanukah Story by Marci Stillerman; Mimi’s Tutu by Tynia Thomassie; Liliana’s Grandmothers by Leyla Torres; Mei-Mei Loves the Morning by Margaret Holloway Tsubakiyama; Grandma’s Records by Eric Velasquez; The Magic Menorah: A Modern Chanukah Tale by Jane Breskin Zalben; The Beautiful Christmas Tree by Charlotte Zolotow.
For insights and inspiration, do read The Magic of Traditions & Rituals section of this kit. Related activities in this kit include “Simple Rituals” and “Kitchen Memories” in the Something to Remember Me By: Start With Story section; “Preserving Your Family Traditions“, “Holiday Meal Memories“, “Calendar of Memories“, and “My Book of Memories” in the Scrapbooking & Other Photo Fun section; and “Did You Ever…?“, “Keepsakes to Reminisce By“, and “Holiday Reading Basket” in the Storytelling for Hope section.
Activities: One World, Many Traditions; Holidays Then & Now; Mini Christmas Tree; Celebrate with the Animals; Family Stars; Family Christmas Crackers; Draw the Memory; Family Memories Quiz Bowl; Find the Candy Cane; Spin the Dreidel; Smells Great!; Bake It, Decorate It; Instant Ice Cream; Ice Cream Party; Family Handshakes; TV Time; Calming Rituals; Time to Remember; Top 10 Favorite Things; Family Growth Chart; Celebrate Past and Future.